buy the time …

Wanted: Part-Time Lover

Posted on: March 11, 2010

There are a few things I want to accomplish over the next year: make a million dollars, lounge on the beaches of South France…see if P90X really works (those infomercials get me every time).  On the more realistic and immediate side of goals getting met are purchasing a new computer (for you to receive more blogs from) and move to my own place.  I have a lovely roommate but there is something wonderful about dancing naked to old school Janet Jackson that may not be appreciated by all.  It will also be nice not to ask at the most inopportune moment, “Do you think we’re being too loud?”  All these things require one major component, MONEY!  To quote Sports Night, one of my favorite shows by one of my favorite writers (Aaron Sorkin), “All my money is tied up in food and shelter.”  I should also add alcohol.  The job I have currently pays the bills and very little of my college loans, so like many of us I am left with little to no savings for the more realistic goals I’ve set.  In my quest for privacy to “dance when I want to” and other physical activities, I’m currently searching for another part-time gig.

‘Gig’ is a word artists use in reference to a show, performance, concert but more often we use the word ‘gig’ to describe the random paid work we get while we search for a real ‘gig’.  To find employment I’ve turned to friends, craigslist, God, but my favorite at the moment is CareerBuilder.  I only say this because of the exceptional post I found yesterday.  The full job title was thus, “Housekeeper/Companion Weekend Only (Live In).”  The job boasts, for strictly weekend work, a salary of $31-$39K a year.  Now before you get ready to sign the application, let me tell you more about your duties: “Prominent mature individual seeks a Housekeeper/Companion to live-in Friday through Sunday and assist with healthy cooking, cleaning, care, laundry, and maintenance in their Upper East Side residence (as well as looking after the gentleman and tending to any needs he may have).”  I get nervous when people use a parenthetical, parenthesis, or air quotes when describing my “job” requirements.  This is the very stuff urban myth’s are made of for your Aunt in Roseville, California to forward you just after her lunch break which she spent getting Chinese with your father.  Next thing you know, you are in a tub of ice water with your kidneys ripped out brought there by a car that never turns on its taillights.  This is the very thing people warn you will happen when coming to New York.  I was stunned to find this company had forty-two posting for catering their executive customers.   The only other jobs listed, not with the same company, with the tile of “companion” all dealt with work in veterinary care. I guess some dogs pay for their best friend.

What are we willing to do to get what we want?  How far disposed?  How often do we sell ourselves to the highest bidder and at what cost?  While the new MacBooks are so shiny, I’m not sure I’m willing to service anyone for a fancy new keyboard without peanut-butter stuck on the shift key.  (Maybe for an iPad.)

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  • Jessica: LMFAO.. How ever, Flavianas ass is REAL! shes from Brazil they are ALL genetically mutated that way... and Beto, he is from brazillian ac
  • mia: Hi, cracked up! flaviana does appear randomly and knows how to hog the camera....but i must say she did have her "15 minutes of fame" in Latin America


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